Embracing the Mental Load: Insights from Belen de Coca on Navigating Parenthood and Career
In today’s fast-paced society, women often carry what’s known as the "mental load"—a hidden yet impactful form of cognitive and emotional labor. For working mothers, this extends beyond managing a household; it includes anticipating family needs, organizing schedules, and balancing responsibilities, all while excelling in their careers. This can lead to significant stress and fatigue, especially when juggling multiple roles. Belen de Coca, a seasoned executive at Coca-Cola and a certified coach, offers invaluable insights into how she manages these demands with grace, resilience, and self-compassion.
Balancing Family and Career: The Power of Planning and Routine
When asked how she manages the demands of both career and family, Belen credits her organizational skills. "Planning is one of my superpowers," she says, yet acknowledges that even the best plans can feel overwhelming. Her approach includes structured routines with room for flexibility and clear boundaries between work, family, and personal time. For instance, maintaining a consistent early dinner schedule has simplified evenings in her household, helping to avoid overtiredness and making space for relaxation before bed.
Takeaway: Setting routines aligned with personal priorities can prevent burnout, ensuring time for both productivity and rest. The consistency of family rituals—whether it’s a set dinner time or a weekly game night—can provide comfort, reduce chaos, and foster meaningful connections.
Carving Out "Me Time" to Recharge
Self-care, as Belen emphasizes, is non-negotiable. She finds joy and release through dance classes twice a month, describing it as essential for her balance and resilience. Far from selfish, Belen sees these moments as crucial for maintaining her sense of self and joy amid daily responsibilities. With her family, she seizes opportunities for connection on the drive to school, singing and laughing with her daughter—turning routine moments into cherished memories.
Takeaway: Quality time doesn’t have to be elaborate; simple daily interactions can become moments of joy and connection. Furthermore, activities that nurture individual passions help mothers recharge and approach family time with renewed energy.
Redefining Work-Life Balance: Self-Compassion Over Perfectionism
When it comes to work-life balance, Belen offers a refreshing perspective: "Balance is a myth," she admits, acknowledging the unrealistic expectations society places on women. Instead, she emphasizes the importance of self-compassion, learning to set boundaries, and embracing resilience. "We’re human, not robots. We can’t always be perfect in every role," she explains. Through her coaching, she encourages women to strive for a healthier version of perfectionism—one that allows room for errors and prioritizes mental well-being.
Takeaway: Embracing imperfection can ease the pressure of juggling multiple roles. By cultivating self-compassion and accepting that some tasks may not get done perfectly—or even at all—women can approach their roles with greater peace of mind.
The Role of Flexibility in Supporting Working Mothers
Belen believes flexibility is essential in achieving success without sacrificing well-being. She advocates for companies to focus on results rather than rigid schedules, allowing employees to meet their goals in ways that suit their individual needs. For working mothers, this flexibility can prevent burnout and foster a culture of commitment and high performance, where goals are met without the need to be constantly online or tethered to a desk.
Takeaway: True flexibility in the workplace is key to empowering women to excel both professionally and personally. By focusing on outcomes rather than hours, companies can create an environment where employees feel trusted and supported.
Reducing the Mental Load: A Call for Cultural Change
Despite progress, Belen acknowledges that cultural norms still place an unfair share of the mental load on women. She stresses the importance of self-awareness and prioritization, sharing how she uses journaling to organize tasks and focus on what aligns with her values. Tasks like preparing meals are prioritized over smaller, less meaningful tasks, such as planning a Halloween costume. She also emphasizes the power of delegation—being specific about which tasks to hand off and letting go of perfectionism by asking herself, “What’s the worst that could happen if this doesn’t get done?”
Takeaway: Prioritizing tasks according to personal values and seeking help where possible can significantly ease the mental load. Additionally, fostering self-awareness and challenging self-imposed standards can be powerful tools in achieving a more balanced life.